Today was going to be a big day. After all, one singular ride had captured Lukas' attention more than any other, and we were heading to the park that contained such ride today. It was also a visit to one of Elisa's favorite parks, and we had another dose of swimming on the menu. And yet, that's not what I was thinking about. No, I was trying to do some quick math in my head. Don't worry, I had finally let go trying to calculate just how much Disney charged for each square inch of hefty bag in the poncho. This was more of a measurement math. I was trying to calculate just how wide our stroller was, because I stood before an obstacle course, and we were already (surprisingly) late.
Let's start with the stroller. When we had Lukas, we got one of those dual contraption things. You had the infant carrier, which snugly fit into the base of the stroller itself. That lasted for about 6 months. It wasn't the greatest quality, and once you didn't use the infant seat as much, the stroller was...well, less than perfect. We graduated to a smaller variety. After all, trying to get a stroller in and out of a car was worse than when you go and by a couple boards at Home Depot, and then realize your Toyota Corolla will not hold them, no matter how many extra doors you attempt to open. This little orange contraption was perfect. It folded down to nearly nothing, and was pretty lightweight. Let's forget the fact that Lukas was just really starting to get control over his neck. No, it's not true that we duct taped said head to the stroller, just so we could have a more compact option. Now that I think about it, though, we could have started using it a couple months earlier had I pulled out the reliable duct tape! Yet another missed parental opportunity!
As Miles approached, though, we hit a conundrum. Lukas wasn't old enough to walk everywhere. Miles wouldn't be doing anything, and sadly, the duct tape idea just struck me in this blog, not when Miles graced us with his presence. So we moved to the "Sit and Stand". In theory, this is perfect. The stroller can do the whole infant seat snap in, but there's a spot for the older kid. If only we lived in a world of "theories". In actuality, it was bulky. And quite heavy to push around. A bigger problem, was the "stand" part. Lukas had about an inch of space to stand, and an inch to sit. When he did sit, it made him look like he was the Hunchback of Notre Dame. After 15 minutes in the mall, Lukas would want to walk, which would turn into him getting tired, which would turn into "Daddy, will you pick me up?" So in reality, we had the "Sit and Daddy Carries The Other" stroller.
So to combat this, we invested. No, not in another barely there double stroller. We bought the mother of all strollers. The biggest badass on Amazon. We got a Bob. The double Bob. The jogger Bob. We loaded both kids in, started pushing it around, and it was as if God had granted me a feather. It was that light. Sure, it was big but there were unforseen benefits. It won a game of chicken with a Suburban, and could probably clear any aisle in the shopping mall as patrons would physically launch into a table of polo shirts to keep all matter of life and limb. We had found stroller bliss. And then vacation approached. Sure, the big Bob is a good idea when you're at the mall. Taking it on a plane? Through security? That's another story. We almost had Lukas walk for the entire trip. We almost brought the "Sit and Give Your Child a Kinked Neck" back out of retirement. But I couldn't pass the feather-light weight. We took the Bob.
True to form, it couldn't fit through the airport scanner. They had to separately check it to make sure it wasn't containing marijuana in the bottle holders. Yet, that, it turned out, was the easy part. The hotel hallways? Now that was torture. As I looked down the hall, the width and size of our Bob was in direct conflict with the "MouseKeeping" obstacle course. At 7:00AM, housekeeping carts lined the walkway. And these weren't your Momma's housekeeping carts. No, they were stretch limos. You didn't even move them yourself. They were equipped with a full control panel. No MouseKeeper (yep, that's what they call them!) would ever have to push their cart down the hallway again. I appreciated the fact that they had the "Bob" of housekeeping equipment. But these Mousekeepers (or would it be micekeepers? I've just blown your English speaking mind, I know) didn't park too well. And I can't do simple space calculations.
I tried to get past the first cart. I ended up wedged between the wall and the cart. I thought it would be a good idea to try to lift the back snow tires (well, they seem to be the size of snow tires) to get past. Beyond Miles squealing "whoa!", I got nowhere. Out came a MouseKeeper. This wasn't your "Have a Disney day!" variety, though. She looked as me as if I was an idiot. Okay, maybe I was as I physically pushed on the cart (these are serious business...without control of the panel, they weren't moving a muscle), but it took a joint effort of manipulating the cart and me doing my lift and shimmy to get past. Grateful, I thanked her. She just started walking in front of me. How rude, I thought. Then I saw the next 3 carts mocking me in plain sight. How awkward that she had to go and drive each cart out of my way. Was it bad that I then inquired about getting some bottled waters? Just kidding...I'm an idiot, to be sure. But I have my limits.
And with that, we were finally into the car (there's more fun with the stroller in later blogs...I think I've recaptured the "how many rooms did they stay in?" crowd with that little hint). As we took the 5 minute drive, however, Elisa was hard at work. Her "mommy" skills were being put to the test, and it all revolved around a Mickey ear hat. It seems to be a Disney tradition that we buy some Mickey ears. I failed to mention that during our first day's visit to Magic Kingdom, we stopped for a two pair. Lukas went with technology. His Mickey ears actually lit up with fireworks. These were not your Mom and Dad's Mickey ears (you know, the ones carved from wood...har har). Miles, however, was going through an identity crisis. Sure, he liked Mickey but he was also a fan of Donald. So as he went through various Mickey hats, responding each time with his cursory "nah!", I had a thought. Surely, they must make a Donald one right? I was half right. They don't give up the Mickey ears, but the "cap" piece of the hat was pure Donald. It even had his little red bow tie.
It took Miles about 1 monorail ride to remove said bow tie from the hat. Hence, Elisa becoming Mrs. Homemaker. With needle and thread, she was attempting to get the bow tie back on. We were to have breakfast with Donald today...he would have been personally offended had his fan shown up without the full outfit. As we arrived at the park, Elisa had finished. She threw the hat on Miles' head and I proceeded to reconstruct the stroller of doom.
Today's schedule called for Animal Kingdom. And for the second straight day, we started with a character breakfast. We arrived late. This was becoming a common theme, which wouldn't matter if not for my PowerPoint chart that was clearly showing a decline of timeliness perfectly coinciding with a loss of 3.2 minutes of valuable ride time! I beelined it for the breakfast. I was met with a line. By the time we got through, I was a bit frazzled. Disney then reminded me that I shouldn't have been. We arrived near the restaurant. No, not at it. Near it. Everyone else and their uncle had reservations at the same time. We met a lovely line. As we waited at the entrance to Africa (Animal Kingdom has sections for Africa, Asia, and Dinoland USA (can you say mixed themes?)), a very nice woman was playing drums...from Africa. Lukas walked right up, and she started teaching him some beats. She commented about how he followed instructions well. Little did I know that this was simply like Luke's audition in front of the American Idol judges. The rhythm was gonna get him...
It took Miles about 1 monorail ride to remove said bow tie from the hat. Hence, Elisa becoming Mrs. Homemaker. With needle and thread, she was attempting to get the bow tie back on. We were to have breakfast with Donald today...he would have been personally offended had his fan shown up without the full outfit. As we arrived at the park, Elisa had finished. She threw the hat on Miles' head and I proceeded to reconstruct the stroller of doom.
Today's schedule called for Animal Kingdom. And for the second straight day, we started with a character breakfast. We arrived late. This was becoming a common theme, which wouldn't matter if not for my PowerPoint chart that was clearly showing a decline of timeliness perfectly coinciding with a loss of 3.2 minutes of valuable ride time! I beelined it for the breakfast. I was met with a line. By the time we got through, I was a bit frazzled. Disney then reminded me that I shouldn't have been. We arrived near the restaurant. No, not at it. Near it. Everyone else and their uncle had reservations at the same time. We met a lovely line. As we waited at the entrance to Africa (Animal Kingdom has sections for Africa, Asia, and Dinoland USA (can you say mixed themes?)), a very nice woman was playing drums...from Africa. Lukas walked right up, and she started teaching him some beats. She commented about how he followed instructions well. Little did I know that this was simply like Luke's audition in front of the American Idol judges. The rhythm was gonna get him...
As we waited in line, Elisa glanced down at Miles. He was already after the bow tie on the Donald hat. And as we both stared at it, we noticed that something was a little...off. About an inch and a half, off to be exact. In her rush (it couldn't be the sewing skill), she had sewn the bow tie on. It was not at center. In essence, it gave the look that plainly suggested that Donald had a few beers, and was sloppily stumbling in to get yelled at by Daisy Duck. It was rough. Needle and thread were back out, and Elisa was back to work at first removing the bow tie, and then sewing it back on. The people next to us in line were staring. Apparently, we do bizarre things in line. I wanted to comment that at least we weren't wearing matching shirts (they were). One day, I'll have to write a blog about my top 10 Disney Park people watching pet peeves. The whole "family reunion is here, so we made our own tie died shirts to celebrate all 20 of us going to Disney World" thing isn't one of my favorites.
After a long wait, we arrived at the podium to get our table. Lukas was pure behaved. He took the instructions from the Cast Member and started leading us back. The woman stated that he was the first child all morning that had followed instructions and was good enough to lead. I suddenly imagined the children before us screaming like hoodlums as she tried to wrestle them into a more appropriate line. And our fearless guide took us to another Disney line. We got to wait for Donald. It was his breakfast Safari, after all. Miles showed no signs of fear today. Thank God this wasn't the Sleeping Beauty Bacon and Eggs Extravaganza, or we would have been in trouble. Once seated, we worked on getting the kids plates of food (this was an actual buffet). By the time I got my food, everyone else was close to being finished. As Mickey, Goofy, and Daisy came by to visit, I started licking my plate again. This buffet might have had the best mass-serving scrambled eggs on Earth. Typically, the eggs at these things are like an egg shake. Milky, runny, and not quite eggs. At some buffets, you wonder if these eggs are the leftovers of hot dogs. And you know that hot dogs are already supposed to be the leftovers of other things.
After a long wait, we arrived at the podium to get our table. Lukas was pure behaved. He took the instructions from the Cast Member and started leading us back. The woman stated that he was the first child all morning that had followed instructions and was good enough to lead. I suddenly imagined the children before us screaming like hoodlums as she tried to wrestle them into a more appropriate line. And our fearless guide took us to another Disney line. We got to wait for Donald. It was his breakfast Safari, after all. Miles showed no signs of fear today. Thank God this wasn't the Sleeping Beauty Bacon and Eggs Extravaganza, or we would have been in trouble. Once seated, we worked on getting the kids plates of food (this was an actual buffet). By the time I got my food, everyone else was close to being finished. As Mickey, Goofy, and Daisy came by to visit, I started licking my plate again. This buffet might have had the best mass-serving scrambled eggs on Earth. Typically, the eggs at these things are like an egg shake. Milky, runny, and not quite eggs. At some buffets, you wonder if these eggs are the leftovers of hot dogs. And you know that hot dogs are already supposed to be the leftovers of other things.
These were wonderful. I was tempted to compliment Goofy, who would look at me strangely and then probably write in Lukas' autograph book "have your Dad seek professional help". I also didn't stop myself from enjoying three apple danishes. I wonder if anyone noticed that I was attempting to suck the apple filling right out of the center. All you women are jealous at the fine specimen that Elisa gets to deal with in public, aren't you? Anyway, I was finally able to pull myself from the best worst scrambled eggs on Earth (or was it just in Africa?) and we were off to ride some rides.
We first hit Kilimanjaro Safaris. This is a jeep ride where you see a variety of animals. It was awesome. I was proud that Miles was growing up so fast. Last summer, we took him on the Lagoon train and everything was a "doggie". This year, zebras were striped horsies. Close enough, child. Once we got off that ride and I found the stroller (again, more fun about that later on!), we headed for THE ride. Lukas had been wanting to go on Expedition Everest since he found out about Disney World. This is quite the roller coaster. For those unaware, the ride is built in a mini replication of Mount Everest. You ride a train up until you hit broken tracks, and then the ride takes you backwards, only to be propelled forward. How do I know? Lukas might have contributed about 1,236,825 views on a certain Expedition Everest YouTube video. I had even memorized the rider reactions. "Uh oh" on the lift hill. "Where'd the tracks go" before going backwards. "Ahhhhhhh!" on the hill. Good times.
We trekked over to Asia (it was a long walk!) and met up with Everest. Which was closed. You're kidding me. That many YouTube videos, and the ride is down for maintenance? Just our luck. We promised to Lukas that we would return, and walked right over to Finding Nemo. This was a stage show. Miles would love it. It wasn't going to start for awhile, though, so we headed past and moved onto country #3...Dinoland USA. Don't ask. This was the home of Dinosaur, a rollicking ride back in time. Again, for those unfamiliar with WDW, but knowledgable of Disneyland, this is like Indiana Jones. Just with dinosaurs. Lukas performed his usual scared and then ecstatic routine. I marveled at the fact that when this ride was built, Phylicia Rashad was still young looking and a household name (she was in the intro video). We let my parents take Lukas on the ride while we tried to entertain Miles. And we discovered a way to provide him with his most treasured souvenir to date.
Back home, Miles loves something more than anything. I know what you're thinking. It must be a stuffed animal, a blanket, or a toy. I wish. Miles loves rocks. Not to throw them. Just to hold them. We'll go into the front yard to take out some garbage, and Miles comes back in with a rock. We jump on the trampoline, and Miles finds two rocks on the way. Wherever you go, a rock is sure to follow. Just enjoy the click clack as one of Miles' rocks gets slinged around in the washing machine because he left it in his pocket "for later". So as we were trying to pass time in the Dinosaur gift shop, Miles wanted rocks. And apparently, rocks are a souvenir in the Dinosaur gift shop! You can get your very own rock for $6.95! That's not the sad and pathetic part. No, that belongs to me. Because I bought one. Yeah, rocks! Goodbye $7!
With rock in hand, we headed back over to Finding Nemo. As we walked past the sign, I noticed a strange addition to the sign...Finding Nemo: The Musical. Musical? Nemo? Instead of anticipation, I was filled with dread. Good grief, what could they sing about from Finding Nemo? I was about to find out. Because the lights dimmed. And the singing began immediately. Do you remember one of the early scenes in Finding Nemo, where Marlin is afraid for his son, so he and Nemo float out, and then go back into the anemone? Yep, apparently that is the start of a Broadway style musical. They sang about everything. Bruce sang when he wanted to eat the fish. Crush sang about the EAC. Dory sang about not remembering anything. Pretty soon, I was singing for it to end. Just kidding. It was creative. Heck, only could Disney find a way to perform a show that was supposed to be under water. But this is when things got bizarre. The grand finale involved bubbles coming from the ceiling. I looked over at Luke and said "Bubbles!", as if he couldn't see the thousands reigning down from the ceiling. After watching Miles sit entranced, I glanced back and Lukas was in full on meltdown mode. Crying? After Nemo? I know the singing wasn't great, but it wasn't THAT bad.
We removed ourselves from the bubbles falling from the heavens, and I tried to find out what was wrong. Lukas struggles, during tantrums, to express his feelings. He says a lot of "well", without a lot of substance. His lack of calming down put him in time out near the restrooms. I'm that parent. I don't care if he graduating from college. If he has a tantrum, I'll sit him down in cap and gown for his 18 minutes (one minute for each year of life). Disney World is no exception. At the end of timeout, Lukas told me that he had a tantrum because he was "so happy about the bubbles". That, my son, is called a reach. If he would have said he didn't think it was proper for them to bastardize Finding Nemo with song, I would have totally bought it, though.
Either I still have a ton of things to talk about from this trip, or I'm just getting longwinded. By my calculations, this blog took us only up to 11:00AM. Yowza. So for the first time, I'm being forced to split a day. The conclusion to Day 3 must come tomorrow.
Next time, we finish Day 3. Lukas finally heads back to Everest, hoping that it isn't still broken. He still dances the day away, we swim (in sand?), we nap, we're late for dinner. And legos and Disney stuffies make me want to cry like bubbles made Lukas. Yep, it was close to a tantrum. See you next time!
We removed ourselves from the bubbles falling from the heavens, and I tried to find out what was wrong. Lukas struggles, during tantrums, to express his feelings. He says a lot of "well", without a lot of substance. His lack of calming down put him in time out near the restrooms. I'm that parent. I don't care if he graduating from college. If he has a tantrum, I'll sit him down in cap and gown for his 18 minutes (one minute for each year of life). Disney World is no exception. At the end of timeout, Lukas told me that he had a tantrum because he was "so happy about the bubbles". That, my son, is called a reach. If he would have said he didn't think it was proper for them to bastardize Finding Nemo with song, I would have totally bought it, though.
Either I still have a ton of things to talk about from this trip, or I'm just getting longwinded. By my calculations, this blog took us only up to 11:00AM. Yowza. So for the first time, I'm being forced to split a day. The conclusion to Day 3 must come tomorrow.
Next time, we finish Day 3. Lukas finally heads back to Everest, hoping that it isn't still broken. He still dances the day away, we swim (in sand?), we nap, we're late for dinner. And legos and Disney stuffies make me want to cry like bubbles made Lukas. Yep, it was close to a tantrum. See you next time!
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