The TRUE effect of children

When did I get old? I know, I know. I'm only 31 (although that's something that the 3 1/2 year younger Elisa likes to tease me about). And when you're growing up, you have this idea about aging - that things are all good until you hit about 40, the downhill slope commences, and you say the big "sayonara" around 80. Living it is a slightly different experience. Now, granted, I don't say I'm getting old as a negative. And to be fair, while there are some physical signs that I'm not an 18 year old anymore, its the mental and lifestyle changes that have been entertaining me lately. Because well...my kids made me old. It's their fault...or blessing.

The whole point of this was an analysis of our weekend thus far. For those of you not single, do you remember your youthful weekends? Should I paint the picture to remind us all? Stay up on Friday night watching something meaningless like a Real World marathon, crash at 3 in the morning, sleep in until 11AM, scoot around the house looking for something good to eat while you surf the TV trying to find some interesting movie to watch. Follow that up with a late lunch involving fast food, french fries, and grease, which miraculously never finds its way to your "love handles" or "thighs". No, food just disappears into the great oblivion known as a hormone ravaged metabolism that only knows full speed. Then it's time to start calling your friends to find something to do, hopefully involving more fast food, mindless entertainment like heading to the "sev" for a slurpee and then wandering around looking for trouble. You get home just in time to realize that the Road Rules marathon started 45 minutes ago, and you can't look away. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

You get married and your life changes - sure, you still go out, still stay out late, and still eat more processed food than is humanly possible, but you find yourself heading to bed at midnight instead of 3. You wake up at 9 instead of 11. Subtle differences, but surely not enough change to make you think you're turning into your parents - after all, it's still easy and natural to look at their lifestyle and choice of activities and say "I'll never do that!"

So here I sit, one 7-year marriage, 2 dogs, a 3-year old, and a 3 1/2 month old later, and I realize that I'm starting to like some of those things I used to scoff at as I watched my parents go about their business. For the new parents of my generation, raise your hand if you've experienced any of the following (lets cover the weekend routine again):

• Friday nights are pure bliss because you might be able to sleep in until 7 instead of 5:30. That is, if one of the kids doesn't decide that it will be fun to wake up 3-4 times that night in hopes of hanging out in mom and dad's bed.
• The nightly news provides the lovable bookend to your day - you tend to turn the TV off right after the weather (if you're female) or just after sports (for the males)
• You wake up sometime in the middle of the night, wondering when you last slept through the night.
• You realize you actually have to use the bathroom in the middle of the night (this only happened in youth when you polished off a 6-pack before collapsing for sleep)
• You're woken up by a child staring you right in the face whispering "Daddy" or "Mommy". It's like a nightmare when it happens, because the kid likes to get REALLY close to your face when he/she wakes you.
• You throw the kid into bed, hoping that he/she will go back to sleep. You still convince yourself that it's possible. You end up disappointed.
• The first thing on TV is Mickey Mouse, or a Little Einstein. Sadly, you find yourself thinking "oh I know this episode!"
• You're out of bed at 7:00, thinking its a waste of a day to stay in bed any later.
• Breakfast in bed is for those who are physically unable to face the world due to sickness - instead, you make your meal and wolf it down, staring at the house that experienced a twister called child #1.
• The highlight of your day is when the newspaper arrives. Pure bliss, as you find a way to drink your coffee, read an article, put a pacifier in your child's mouth, stop the other from crashing their tricycle into the couch, and read another article.
• You actually get excited about errands - especially when the word "Costco" is involved.
• You find yourself interested in activities listed in the newspaper, but by the time you finish the paragraph stating times/dates, you have already built a checklist in your mind of what you'd need to finish before being able to do the fun activity, and decide it's probably not worth it.

This is all before 10:00am. And the sickest part of all? You love every minute of it. And then spend the rest of your day, finding ways to convince yourself that you're completely different from your parents.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

What not to do at a Botanical Garden..

I feel so accomplished. Two blog posts in a 1/2 of a week. Maybe the writing of the blog is becoming therapy - or at least a way to unwind each night. I had one thought kind of eating at me today, which necessitates the obvious blog post in progress. So here we go.

I personally think that Elisa has one of the sweetest jobs in the world. She has flexibility of schedule, a challenging position, super benefits, and the chance to work for a non-profit, and a cool one at that. Elisa's work at Red Butte Garden also has another perk - concert tickets. For those of you that don't know, Red Butte has a summer concert series, which usually includes bands and artists looking for (or needing) a more intimate environment. We have been able to go to 1 or 2 concerts a year for quite awhile now, but hadn't ventured out this year. Until Tuesday. Barenaked Ladies came to town, so Elisa, Lukas, Miles, and myself grabbed some food and headed up to the Garden.

The point of the story is not to say that the concert was fabulous. That would make a boring post, no? In fact, the concert was very good. But to say that the Barenaked Ladies had poor comedic timing would be an understatement. About 1/3 of the way into the show, the band had the crowd into it. Good songs, funny banter (the band is like a group of comedians that happen to sing). Suddenly, after singing a song from their kids CD (ummm...Barenaked Ladies has a kids CD?), the lead singer went into a diatribe about Ozzy Ozbourne biting the head off of a bat. To be "as extreme", he threatened to do worse at Red Butte - and to take a life. He proceeded to rip out a plant and bite a leaf off.

In any other venue, you'd probably laugh and move on. But let's think this one through. A concert. At a botanical garden. Killing plants/flowers. Impressively, Barenaked Ladies pulled off the equivalent of someone wearing a full fur coat to a PETA event. Probably not a good idea. A word of advice to the band...the patrons of the gardens probably like plants and flowers. Some to the extreme. Some to fulfill the "green" desires of their soul. Don't pull the flowers. Don't eat them.

Wait a minute - didn't we learn that in Kindergarten too? Hmmm...I might have to Google to see if they teach that lesson in Canada.

Lagoon & Other Musings

It's funny - I created this blog long ago, thinking it would be a convenient way to share pictures and stories with family and friends, and then never posted. Elisa took over on the posting duties, and did a fantastic job. But she's busier than ever now and I figure I can go back to posting on our blog. Maybe we can have joint duties. Elisa can make sure we get 100 pictures on here. I can just write about - well, anything and hope that it entertains. So let's catch up.

Two days ago, Elisa informed me that the yearly tradition of Catholic Lagoon Day was on Sunday. I hadn't been to Lagoon (besides a quick jaunt for Frightmares, which better described the Saturday crowd than the festive atmosphere) for about 7 years. And my memories of the place had turned the amusement park into the Ghetto Booty Park of the Western United States. Granted, it still is to some degree, but taking the family up for the day ended up being spectacular. Good enough that we're seriously considering making it a yearly tradition.

There are quintessential moments in life, where decisions you have made in the past tend to manifest themselves in a "I was SO right on that one" or "What was I thinking?" realization. Who'd have thought that one of those moments would have happened at Ghetto Booty Park?! In all seriousness, the pure joy of watching Luke experience his first real amusement park made me so thankful that he is on our lives. All told, he went on 15 rides and could have done 15 more. My favorite part was going on the new Jumping Dragons, which for all intensive purposes is an adult ride (for those Ghetto Booty aficionados, think of the Musik Express on steroids). Luke wanted it to go faster and faster, and now proclaims "Dragons" as his favorite ride of Lagoon.

For his part, Miles was our typical 3 month old - eating, sleeping, and blowing out of every outfit we put him in. Seriously, I think the kid propels 2 feet off the ground every time he needs to go #2. Elisa had two of the grand experiences, which resulted in what we'll call "mustard" on her arms, nursing cover, 2 infant outfits, and burp cloths. That's what she gets for not getting a ride pass, apparently.

Needless to say, it was so much better than we thought it would be. Lagoon has shockingly made its way back into our yearly fold. The question is - how to implement it? It's the reason for the poll. I think Elisa's in the corner of using Catholic Lagoon Day as the organizing force for our yearly jaunt to Farmington. I, on the other hand, might prefer making our own tradition. Perhaps taking 1/2 a week off in the summer, and going on a Wednesday, mostly to avoid crowds. We'd love your thoughts. We do have an entire year to over-think it, too.

Thus ends my first real post on the blog. My goal is to update this at least weekly. We'll see how I do. But I did think it would be fun to also add a section of quick hit thoughts to summarize the week (or events since our last post). Enjoy. Leave comments. See you next week.

Quick Thoughts

• Draper decided the prudent 4th of July ordinance would be banning all fireworks in the city. Hooray for feeling like a Fireworks Prohibitionist, lighting sparklers in the backyard.
• Yes, Lagoon was a hit. But every time I get near a water park, I ask myself "Why?". Not about the water, or the park, or the activities. But "why" to the choice of outfits that men and women decide to wear. Cover up ladies and gents. It's for the kids.
• I'm not a Jazz fan (at the hardcore level). But dude...could the summer be going any worse for that franchise? Yikes. Next thing you know, Deron Williams will become surly. Oh wait...
• I love Luke - love him to death. But his incessant desire to watch Little Einsteins has me dreaming of rocket. And not good dreams. Nightmares.
• Speaking of TV, one of my friends got me hooked on Wipeout this season. Easily one of the most hilarious shows on the tube. If you haven't watched it, try it out. The commentary makes the show.