I've thought for some time that Elisa and I have quite the twisted view of what it's like to have an infant. Let me clarify. That twisted view is only twisted during the wee hours of the morning. Because for better or worse (I'll say better), we've had good sleeping children. And I have two theories as to why. My first goes back to Elisa's Costco sized milk supply. I've covered in previous blogs that her milk comes in Venti size only. No tall or grande for that girl. For the breastfeeding blog reader (wow, that sounded better before I wrote it), let me give you a little perspective. Typically, when a new baby is born, of greatest concern is the milk supply. Doctors, lactation consultants, and nurses all have theories on how to boost it. Feed more often, keep them on for 20 minutes at a time, eat right, exercise when you can, and my personal favorite...have a beer. Still, it's enough of a challenge that many moms will give up the dream within the first three months of breastfeeding. As they put it, they can't keep up.
When it comes to Elisa, she doesn't have that problem. In fact, I'd be woefully frightened if she did have a beer. Visions of a breast milk flood rivaling the time of Noah come to mind. Still not convinced? Early in Sam's life, Elisa would let him feed for 10-15 minutes. She'd then go home and pump. And she'd get another 8 ounces. Yeah, that's a cup of milk after Sam had already eaten. When Lukas was done breastfeeding, we literally had half of our freezer filled with pumped milk. Her supply is...ample. But that's not all. No, we need to speak about the fact that breast "milk" isn't the best descriptor. Breast "buttermilk"? Maybe. Breast "Half & Half"? We're getting there. I might even consider Breast "heavy whipping cream". Now we're talking. Honestly, the stuff separated. Similar to beer, you might think Elisa's milk has a healthy "head". And that's theory number one. Our kids are great sleepers because they're ingesting copious amounts of heavy whipping cream. It would make the most awake baby a bit sleepier.
Theory #2 is more straightforward. We force it upon them. Will it, if you will (won't you?). Elisa gets into a very early routine of 2-hour feedings throughout the day...and she will do whatever it takes to raise the child. Really, nothing is beneath her. Tickling, undressing, changing the diaper, and the dreaded cold cloth. The baby goes from asleep to ready to eat in about 10 degrees of cool. And, typically, the 2 hour routine works like a charm. It's time to unveil how successful we've been. Parents out there, you'll be impressed.
Lukas slept a 4-hour block on his first night home. He was so peaceful that Elisa and I woke up to check his breathing every 20 minutes. And he didn't make a peep for four hours. I remember telling a friend the next morning. She stared at me as if I was making it up. 4 hours on his 4th day of life? By 4 weeks in, we had to move Lukas to his own room, because his noises were keeping us up while he was sleeping for a 7-hour block. Yep, 7 hours just 4 weeks in. We were champions of the sleeping child. Miles came along and wasn't as strong. It took us a week to get him to 4 hours. Yes, we actually complained about it. But Miles soon progressed to 5-hour blocks 2 weeks in, and by 4 weeks in, he was giving us a nice 6-hour block. Again, we had conquered the baby. We were victors.
Whether it was the incessant schedule or the heavy whipping cream, we were ready to train Sam. And that opportunity was taken away. In the constant and unbending schedule of the St. Mark's NICU, we were feeding Sam on a 3-hour schedule. No exceptions. If you don't believe me, just know that Elisa overslept by 10 minutes on one early morning feeding. She was at the hospital 5 minutes later. The nurse was busily giving him a bottle. We had two days of trying to get Sam on a schedule when he was home, but the 3-hour schedule was pretty established by that point. I think we got a couple 4-hour blocks at night, but Sam was already heading towards 4 weeks. And then we were back in the hospital. Thankfully, Primary's was more willing to do the on demand thing, but a baby in the hospital tends to be more routined and less up and about. Generally, the three hour schedule stuck and we were lucky to get a 4 hour block at night.
I hear stories of 4, 5, and 6 months old still waking up every 3 hours. Or less. So I fully admit that my "reality" is probably not indicative of what every parent deals with. But we've had two children that gave us sleep. We're adjusting to Sam's interesting sleeping habits. First, Sam's deepest sleep seems to be between 6:00-9:00pm. Raising him for the 9-10pm feeding truly is like raising the undead. Cold cloths might get him to squirm, but he stays snoozing. Light blowing into his face makes him startle before he snores again. And 45 minutes later, we resort to openly pleading to Sam to wake up. Finally, he does. He eats. We wrap him. And he's wide awake. This wouldn't be a big deal if he just quietly looked around his bassinet. But he tends to whine and fuss and grunt and squirm and squeal. Finally, he settles in for a 4 hour block. 5 weeks in and we're only at 4 hours. It's like Christmas was cancelled. He wakes up at 2ish, and we get him fed, burped, and ready for bed. And then he REALLY makes noise. Enough that the other night, while he "slept" for his three hour block, I stared into the darkness. I actually started laughing at some of his noises. Remember - this is the guy that can't stand the ticking fan. Imagine the rhythmic breathing of weird noises. Every second or so, you get another bizarre sound. Only we worry about Sam, so he's not going to his room. He's still hooked to his pulse oximeter. We need to make sure his heart rate and oxygen saturations are within normal/acceptable ranges. And without fail, he wakes up at about 5. By the time we get him fed, it's nearing 5:40 or so. And if we're really lucky, he pees on the bed, through all of the sheets, and we end up getting blankets out and stripping the bed. Good times.
Lukas and Miles are conspiring. Lukas actually has his alarm clock because he loves to get up at 6:00am. So we settle back down (Sam decides to stop making animal noises only heard on the NatGeo channel), and in comes Lukas. He crawls into bed and starts the squirming routine. Soon after, here comes Miles, ready to have me take him to the bathroom, get a drink, and then collect his 6 lovies so that he can lay down. And then I depressingly look at the clock. Right on time to go shower so that I can go to work. I know I shouldn't be complaining, but this blog is my therapy. You'll have to roll your eyes and deal. I feel better, if not well rested.
Beyond the adventures in Sam sleeping, there have been some other Sam developments. I do have to say that I love that things have felt so normal (well, normal for Sam) in the last 4 days. I've only blogged twice in the last week. That's a record. I guess my therapy needs aren't as high as usual. But I do have to give some props to Dr. Doom...or at least some appreciation. And I have a weight update for you as well.
We took Sam into see Dr. Pete for his weekly weigh in on Tuesday. As we were walking back, Dr. Pete informed us that he had received a letter from Dr. Day, detailing out all of Sam's conditions so that we could try to get him that RSV preventative medicine I mentioned last week. I am very appreciative that he took the time and effort to protect Sam. I was highly entertained that Dr. Pete stated that it was an "incredibly well written, if not fully detailed at all of the Sam's problems". Yeah, that feels like Dr. Doom to me. He's helpful. He's working to make Sam better. But he'll never miss an opportunity to be Debbie Downer. At this point, I just accept it. After all, I figure the more depressing and dire the letter, the better Sam's chances of getting his medicine and slightly reducing our fears of the coming flu and cold season.
And that takes us to the best news of the week. Last week (Tuesday, in fact), Sam weighed in at Dr. Pete's for the first time. With clothes on, he tipped the scales at 10 lb. 7 oz. We headed for the scale with another sense of trepidation. We needed him to be gaining weight. Yes, I had even reduced myself to getting on a scale, weighing myself, and then doing the same thing with Sam in my hands and doing some math. When you want confirmation that baby is doing well, you'll try anything. It turns out that we didn't have anything to worry about. Not only is Sam gaining, he's proving that Elisa's breast milk is as copious and heavy whipped as usual. This week, Sam weighed 11 lb. 1 oz. with clothes on. Yep, you're reading that right. Sam packed on 10 oz. in a week. I think he's thriving. That makes my heart happy. I hope it's making his heart healthy. And stronger.
As we continue to fall into a more normal routine, I've decided to start expanding Sam's story. Because every story has a prologue. Every story has a prequel. And Sam has a few. Over the next few weeks, I'm going to take you way back into my childhood and to the lesson I truly think I learned 27 years ago and am only realizing now. I'll take you back into the start of our family and some of the struggle that existed for us, as it shapes the surprise of Sam. I'll invite you into the story of getting pregnant and interesting and unique pregnancy that we lived through...including seeing a nude Ricki Lake. And then I'll (maybe I'll be the first man to do this) share Sam's birth story. Sam's chapters didn't begin on September 11, 2013. No, they started 27 years ago. They progressed with Elisa and I in the 2000s. And they made 2012/2013 quite interesting. And as I said in my very first Sam blog, his is a story that I need to share. I owe him that. I owe me that. I owe Ricki Lake that.
And that's where we sit. As I speak, Elisa's feeding Sam an hour earlier than usual because we don't want to try to wake him in an hour. We're hopeful that his usual great sleep between 8-10 is going to translate into a 5-6-7 hour block. Right, Sam?
Pretty please?
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